The Good Lord Giveth… August 29, 2008

An angry writer is far more fun than a happy one. This is true on various levels. First and foremost, the more pissed off you are personally the more likely you are to write some of those strictly terrible truths that we refuse to acknowledge when things are going well. For example, the popular belief in a kind and benevolent God that cares for and loves his children that proliferates happy prose. It would be nice to have that vision of angels and white clouds accompanying an image of the Lord. However, my God is the embittered and vengeful Divinity of the Old Testament. Surely you’ll recall the stories; 40 years in the desert, Abraham prepared to sacrifice his only son Isaac, Moses floating down the river abandoned by his mother. That cruel deity is the God of my idolatry (another convenient Old Testament reference if you will).

 

The Lord that dictates and governs my days is not the roses and sunshine, water into wine, risen on the 3^rd day sort of guy. Because if that was the God watching down from a cloud, composing harp music to coincide with my daily events like a movie soundtrack, then surely things could not shoot to shit this fast.  The God looking down on me and observing my mindless toil is like the Old Men in the Balcony from the Muppets. He is commenting on the stupidity of the human race, perhaps laughing as he throws another ‘fuck you’ my way. Now it is entirely too conceited to admit that I think a single deity exists simply to mock my existence, but it is all too appropriate to assume that at least one has it in for me.

 

I must include a disclaimer, typically I feel unusually lucky in my daily life. You know easy parking places, snagging a great waiter in a busy restaurant. I have an awesome record for getting what I want. Yet, as I am embittered and enraged, I think that historical fact is entirely attributable to a bitchy attitude and a young face. It is phenomenal what powers youth and beauty bestow on women for the fleeting first years of their adult lives. It is a cruel trick, because all too soon these simple blessings will fade. Rather than never knowing such pleasures, I will have the rest of my life to remember a time when I wasn’t “ma’am”. I will have memories of the days when instead of putting me at the crappy table by the kitchen; waiters once rushed expensive dinners in fancy restaurants, called the cab for me to get to the theater on time, paid for my dessert, and thanked me for gracing them with the privilege. I know I am doomed to spend the majority of my later days lusting after these splendid times. It is another punishment that I will be forced to suffer unjustly. Even the small joys that make my days bearable will inevitably be a curse for years to come.

 

Hence my belief in an unjust, unrepentant, and cruel God stems from my confident realization that even the good in life is only a mirage intended to ruin experiences to come. The loving Lord of forgiveness and benevolence exists only in the minds of the guilty. The brief and shining glory of my youth dwindles away even as I type, giving me a glimpse into the ethereal knowledge that all things are temporary. God taught me that.

When I Grow Up… August 27, 2008

For pretty much all of my life I have been terrified of making mistakes. Even one, scares the hell out of me. Yet frightened as I am, an opportunity in Vegas to get married presented itself and I jumped. I didn’t wait, think twice, or question what I was getting into. At two in the morning, I was looking at chapels and listening to my future husband enquire as to a pastor and the time the chapel would open in the morning. We never did find a pastor and even with sighs of relief as we wandered back to the elevator lobby, I considered it one of the great regrets in my life. I still do. Because I’ve lived so far in such a way as to never have regrets, I was totally unprepared for the feeling. Not that I’m perfect by any stretch of a far flung imagination, but I try to be. As uncomfortable as it makes me to say out loud, I like that I’m the “good one” of my siblings. I like that my extended family praises me and wants their children to turn out like I have. I am all those things that make parents happy but the real question is am I happy?

 

Obviously not, I have all of these dreams and ideas of who I could be and now I’m following through on the process. I want an artist’s existence of passion, intrigue, and wrong turns that lead to a fantastic life. I am always so safe, perpetually careful, I’m terrified of life. I don’t want to live the life I have because I’m scared shitless I’ll fuck it up. And when I do feel as if I’m taking a gamble, in a relationship or doing something wild, it’s typically predictable and it’s not the fantastic ‘I had an affair with someone I was truly passionate about’. It’s a safe bet on a guy I know will never commit and I don’t particularly like. I dream of being this creative person and living this amazing life but I haven’t grown the ovaries to be her. I’m all talk.

 

There are so many opportunities to do something impulsive, wild, and literally freeing. But when I’m those situations I laugh it off and pretend it isn’t happening. Later it’s a fleeting thought of ‘whoa, what could have happened’ but nothing more. The missed opportunities, the potential invitations, the possibility of attaining a clear vision into my soul; I completely ignore. It’s like life is handing me these wondrous opportunities and I’m playing silly games pretending it didn’t happen. I’m lying under the covers, fingers in my ears, singing to myself with my eyes closed so I won’t know what’s going on. I’m intentionally ignorant.

 

And here’s the fuck of it all, I wouldn’t prefer being plain and average. I want to be extraordinary, I want to be amazing, I want to stand out, and I want to be noticed but I’m scared shitless of being known for the wrong thing. And what is that, a personal judgment of myself? I’m allowing fear to lead me. I’m not making choices. I’m running away from my life. And I’m not running towards anything, it’s just anywhere but here. It’s not other people, or judgment, or conflict that frightens me. Those are all common realities with which I’m comfortable. It started with being afraid of letting myself down. However that spiraled into, I’m afraid of myself. I don’t know how that happened. Apparently I’m not paying attention. Those things I am most passionate about are a part of my life but my life is not the way I want it. I’m doing what’s easy and following the advice of people that I don’t want to be. I’m all caught up in what I’m supposed to do not what I want to do.

 

What I want to be is a traveler, someone who experiences life first hand, who sits across from Buddhist monks in meditation, who rides elephants through India, who speaks foreign languages, and understands their humor. I don’t want to be the person I am right now. I’m so by the book, so vanilla, and I’m trapped. I feel like a mouse swimming in a glass of water. With every paddle I’m exerting more energy but I’m never going to reach the top of the glass. I’m treading water until inevitably, I die. I’m not paying attention or enjoying the journey. I’m surrounded by manna from heaven and I’m starving. Starving is just another way to say empty. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, I’m empty. My lack of depth, my personal beliefs, and my world view are all based on things I’ve read. I can remember the last time I felt clarity. I was 11 driving home from school with my Dad in our Ford Windstar and I was looking out the window on the highway and I just let go. My consciousness, my daily thoughts were gone and it was me in the world and in the moment. I haven’t felt that exuberance since my parent’s divorce.

 

I come closer to myself the farther I travel from home. In Ireland in a goat pasture on the side of a hill overlooking the countryside and a far off lake, I felt at home in who I was and truly grateful for the experience. I was 15. The last time I felt completely alive, I was in Chicago. It was September and I was on the beach at night with a boy I really liked. I was 18 and a little drunk. There was a storm rolling in and the waves were truly terrifying. For the first time in my life I was awestruck by nature and knew I had to be a part of it. I couldn’t let the rain start pouring and not feel it on my skin. I tore all my clothes off and sprinted to the water. I didn’t care if he came or stayed. He came and carried me out a few minutes later; but diving into the icy water, screaming as the wind howled, lightning struck, I was in the middle of something great. It was an absolutely profound moment and I embraced it. I let it happen. As the water washed over my goosebumped skin, I knew I would never forget the foreboding clouds or the ominous roar of the waves. Sure it was romantic to have a boy beside me, but he was by no means the main event. It was about me, my God, and the water.

 

It was a moment I will remember for a lifetime because it was solid and it was real. It was an event you can sink your teeth into and I didn’t run away. It wasn’t like a movie. It wasn’t like everyday life. It was cold. It was hard. I liked it, and yet I describe it like a brush with death, like everything flashed before my eyes. Like I was crazy and young and it will never happen again. I don’t want to be an adrenaline junkie but I want to stop living in fear of life. The freeing moments I describe with such clarity subsist because they are so few. I remember them in gross detail because those are moments that changed me.  I lived them. It’s a powerful statement to live something but what is far more powerful is if I can keep that momentum going. I need to find a way to let go, to enjoy those moments, and embrace opportunities for new ones.

Midwestern Summers August 21, 2008

Sun, surf, sand, and tanned hard bodies; not typically references made when discussing Cleveland, Ohio. However, the love of sport, specifically beach volleyball unites these terms and so many players across the country. Surprisingly enough, we have beach volleyball here. There are no quicksilver clad beach bodies leaping through the air or teams even using real plays. Here on Whiskey Island we have managed to bring together the West Coast laid back approach and the Midwest beer bellies and competitive spirit, there’s a reason the big ten was born here. The glory of this combination is that more often than not players come out and have a great time.

Whiskey Island hosts two summer sessions every year for mainly the mid-twenties to late-thirties after work crowd. The sand is right on the water surrounded by netting to avoid losing the ball either in the woods or to the lake. Eight courts and the Sunset bar, we couldn’t ask for more. Game play is done in shifts every hour. Best out of three wins the day and teams have the option to continue game play even if one team masters the first two rounds. Team uniforms are typically t-shirts with obscene advertising for either local bars or the team itself. Each team must have one female player for every two males and typically there is a fair distribution.

The glory of the sport on Whiskey Island is the conditions. Even with some impressive height and skill from recent college players, the wind off the water, and drunken debauchery contribute more to the score than skill. Most games are determined by luck and laughter which is a great feeling at the end of a long work day. The attitude varies by team but is predominantly relaxed. Most will tell you if your team is actually up another point or no one really saw the ball hit so let’s re-play. Camaraderie is king when after the game players head back for cocktails together. In the event of rain delay drinking competitions will do until game play is re-started…usually if the lightning’s gone we’re good to go.

Though the sand is shallow and the sticks can really carve up your legs on a fine dive, the experience is worth it. The real point and purpose is good times with friends which you always are in a nice Midwestern town.

More Better Faster August 21, 2008

Getting to be the person I want to be when I grow up is a process. I wish it were more like a self-actualizing feat of character and strength. Instead it is the disappointing acceptance that there are people out there living the life of my dreams and I am not them. It’s good to have that other; the more, better, faster crowd that reminds us of all that we can have in this world and what is possible. But more often than not, it is difficult to separate what we admire in others and what inadequacies we feel in ourselves. There are problems and challenges that everyone experiences in their lives, the difficulty is appreciating the private battles that others fight silently. Unbeknownst to the rest of the world we are all secretly warriors. Any number of experiences and situations test our resilience.

 

Unfortunately, it is difficult to see the world from the other side. Looking as we do from jaded personal perspective we forget who we are and how we got there. Negative self talk is easier to believe than the reality of our own greatness. When we embrace the negative image of ourselves we give ourselves permission not to succeed. If we believe that we are inadequate when compared to our peers, we never have to press ourselves to accomplish a goal. We tell ourselves, “It wouldn’t be as good as someone else’s work product anyway” to justify inaction. We create our own destiny and deem it mediocre.

 

Rather than seeing the multitude of ways in which we are fantastic, we judge ourselves harshly and imagine the rest of the world does the same. The only way to beat this challenge is to pursue the very goals that terrify us. We must accept that the very traits that separate us from one another are the inimitable and wondrous qualities that make what we bring to the table unique. It is entirely too easy to get down on ourselves.

 

Wanting always to be the exception or to set high standards is a noble objective. It is important to keep in mind that with globalization and the increasing size of the labor market it is consistently more difficult to get ahead. To prove ourselves worthy to; run in the right circles, attain a satisfying and challenging position, and embrace a positive sense of self worth we must consistently strive to do our personal best. Ignoring the strengths of others is not the answer. Be aware of competitors, but do not allow their successes to consume your thoughts or overwhelm your own accomplishments.  It is fulfilling and rewarding to be the best version of yourself rather than a cheap mimicry of someone else. Embracing our individuality is the only way in which to take the world from a new and interesting direction. No one in the world can possibly do the job the same way you would, it’s important to remember this about the world and ourselves when focusing on who and what we want in life.

It hurts so much to feel so good. August 21, 2008

I truly enjoy a good laugh. Of all the things in life that one can pursue (wealth, fortune, fame, great sex, etc.), I much prefer a can’t breath, may fall down it hurts so much to feel so good laugh. Friends that can make you truly fall over gasping for air are few and far between. Meeting a person that brings out that quality is truly priceless. I pursue laughing and laughter at all times and in all places. Maybe it’s morbid to laugh in a funeral home or at the hospital, it’s also a comfort. Am I going to get sick and die some day? I sure as shit am, what’s the point in crying about it? Being able to see the humor in life’s tragedies enables me to get through it. Laughter is the deepest expression of true emotion.

 

Those that entertain and are entertaining can be devastatingly cruel or personally devastated. I think part of the attraction to humorous people is that they are wounded. There is some deep pain from which they cannot recover. They must reach inside themselves and tap the source sporadically to deal with the intensity of their emotions. The problem then is that you always feel a bit of that pain, it seasons your laughter. Perhaps it’s sarcasm, puns, or jocular kidding. Pain can be felt simultaneously with love, passion, and satisfaction enjoying the fruits of one’s labor. In humor, pain can be cutting, embarrassing, or harsh but it always eases someone’s personal situation.

 

There are few things as revealing as a person’s sense of humor, it is one way in which to be naked in font of the room. When you reveal the heartache, scorching wounds, and personal lows in a mocking manner you allow others to feel their own pain. The humorous person is a mercenary in that way. They have given something back and returned a favor as the audience enjoys the story and the showmanship they are also more attune to their personal hardships. It is in this way that what is real, what is sentiment, what made the trip, was laughing. It is the only amusement that can move you to the brink of tears. The hurtful, malicious, and lasting emotion is one true revelation we can all share. In life we are perpetually reliving our deepest and most sacred acts of personal pain. Humorous people react differently. They put it out there before it kills them inside. While the rest of us love to laugh, we never wittingly consent to the fact that what makes something funny or enjoyable is sharing a similar realization. Laughter, put simply is shared pain.

You can lead a woman to water… August 20, 2008

Friday afternoon, one of those sunny cool days when you wonder, “Why go back to work?” On the same block, there are two restaurants with outside porches. One has a patio full of women, sunglasses on, lemons in their water glasses, eating salads. The other is all men dinking beer and eating pizza. While looking back and forth, a thought occurred to me, I try to take the best of both worlds and end up in neither. This is why I’m single. You’re either on one patio or the other. You can’t have it both ways; pizza or salad, water or beer.
 
These small choices define how we are seen by the rest of the world. You’re either sophisticated or the standard. There is no salad and beer, water and pizza middle ground. Which is why as I date, I can never find the right combination. When I imagine that guy, he’s just a composition of things I like and don’t like in the men I’ve already met. Which is a fairly vague combination of makes me laugh, has more hair on his head than the rest of his appendages, actually asks how my day went, and is legally allowed to leave the state without the consent of a parole officer. Already we’re looking at salads. Pizza toppings are all over the place. It’s all mixed together with the water: sparkling, flat, flavored, vitamin, and then there’s the beer: domestic, international, microbrew. I’m overwhelmed.
 
It all comes back to the beer, water with lemon dichotomy. Here I am thinking, I want a nice water with lemon sort of guy. When in actuality, I would probably be more comfortable fighting over the last piece of pepperoni with beer guy. Which is why I’m mean to the men I date. If he’s water guy, he’s too soft. I’m constantly trying to push his buttons to see if he’ll crack. If he’s beer guy, I’m looking down on him for not being classy or romantic. Is there a guy that can do both, probably. Am I going to find him? Probably not. Because I’m too busy spending my time looking at water wishing it were beer (*I think we’ve all done this at some point…even Jesus can relate) and looking at beer wanting it to be like water. There is no mixing of the two. Which is why I will be alone until I either accept the softer tendencies of a water drinker or I admit that deep down I’m a beer and pizza sort of girl…water with lemon on the side.

Democracy Demands Dissent August 20, 2008

“Patriotism in the sense of democracy allows for dissent from popular view – including questioning the morality of war.” – Robert E. Hagan

 

This quote by is as poignant and significant to the political climate today as it was during the Vietnam Era. Unfortunately, the United States has failed to learn both from Mr. Hagan’s wisdom and from the lessons taught during the 1960’s. Enmeshed in a war against terrorism and terrorists with no single nation of origin, no delineated leadership structure and no understood or know presence with whom to negotiate, the United States should be familiar with this situation. The state of international affairs in the United States parallels its situation in the 1960’s. The significant difference is that after September 11, 2001, Americans have reverted to an idealized and false traditional memory of government and national leadership as omnipotent and infallible. In the 1960’s, protests, civil unrest, and change were encouraged if not forced by many citizens. This vocal group fought for their beliefs and their desire to remove troops from Vietnam. Today in a post 9-11 society, government is not questioned, allowing legislation such as the Patriot Act to pass. The desire to seem or appear patriotic is more valuable to Americans today than preserving their civil liberties or fighting for what is “right”. Leaders are thought to be tough, benevolent, and fair yet when public administrators and elected officials fail to answer to the public’s demands there is no public action to check this behavior. There is no social action taken by the people that rivals the 1960’s, though circumstances are strikingly similar, the fight is not there. Though it seems that Americans question the morality of the war as Hagen recommends, their willingness to fight for what they believe in is lacking.

            To be truly patriotic, one must acknowledge the necessity of dissent. Should leadership fail to obey or implement the desires of the people, it is our right and responsibility as citizens to act and speak out against that which we do not agree with or believe in government. Utilizing personal moral and ethical standards, public administrators are not only responsible to themselves but also to those they serve. Fredrick Mosher, an acclaimed public administration scholar, referred to public administration as, “thrice removed from direct democracy.” Being distantly accountable to the public, individuals that chose careers in public service must be able to hold themselves accountable for upholding the public good. It is necessary to recognize that with this sense of duty comes a responsibility to question government and strive in all cases to do what is “right” and just. As voters it is our duty to hold government accountable for its actions. Not only elected officials, but all government employees are stewards of public trust. Therefore, it becomes the duty of all public officials to not only give their best work to their job but also to reflect and act with good conscience when performing their duties.

            Today it is popular to support troops. War and its uncertain objectives are not supported by the American public, yet there is no strong retaliation against government demanding a resolution. Patriotism has become silent acquiescence, which is society’s first and greatest battle, the fight against indifference.  To stand up for what we believe in, even when it is not “politically correct” or popular, is the greatest right and privilege American’s should hold dear. This fight is the manifestation of democracy in its truest form, as the forefathers envisioned it, and exactly what Hagan refers to in his statement.

Abstinence Only Education August 20, 2008

Though children do not drive, we still tell them to wear seatbelts. It stands to reason that though they will not drive today, this valuable lesson can save their lives. The lesson behind this analogy can be applied to Abstinence Only Education Programs in the United States. We hold the highest hopes that our children are not having sexual intercourse before marriage; however it is best to inform them of the safety precautions available as this information can also save their lives. It is best that when a knowing eye is not watching, as it cannot always be, children have the basic knowledge of how to protect themselves, even if they choose to partake in risky behavior.

There exists a significant difference between endorsing premarital sex and endorsing risky behavior and choices. People do not need to drink, smoke, or use drugs to survive. Sexuality is a symptom of the human condition. By preaching abstinence we are not encouraging values, we are asking our children to deny a part of themselves, their sexuality. Abstinence Only Education Programs teach children to refrain from sexual intercourse until marriage. The United States spent 141 million dollars in fiscal year 2008 on abstinence only education. It is interesting to note that, “a congressionally mandated study conducted by Mathematica Policy Research, Inc that showed students are just as likely to engage in sexual activity whether or not they participate in abstinence-education programs”[1]. With this investment, the rate of teen pregnancy in the United States is significantly higher than most other developed countries[2]. Studies also show, that the rate of teen pregnancy in schools that only utilize abstinence only teaching are similar to those schools where students were given further information. The significance lies in the availability and information on options for contraception and healthful protection. Abstinence-only sex education became more prominent in the U.S. over the last decade stimulated by over $1 billion in federal funding[3]. However, few long-term, rigorous studies have been done on these programs, and their effectiveness remains a matter of question… What is in dispute is whether abstinence-only sex education actually succeeds in increasing abstinence[4]. Public schools are not teaching children about masturbation or protected sex, we give students only one option to consider in the classroom when unfortunately the rest of the world bombards them with contradictory information.

Teen pregnancy is a symptom of larger social ills rather than the root cause, however it is important to understand the difference between what children are doing and why they are doing it.  They are not falling in love at younger ages and choosing to have sex to express that affection.  The choice to have sex has become more about bragging rights or social standing than about an expression of love and affection. Young men who do not get good grades, do not excel in extracurricular activities, or perform well at an after school job lack avenues to gage self worth. The current trend is to use sex and pregnancy as a method to demonstrate their successes. A young man who may not have any other opportunity to show his achievement, uses a pregnant partner as proof that he is both able to have a child and desirable to the opposite sex. The significant word here is “uses” because the interaction between the sexes is still underdeveloped. Rather than sharing values, responsibilities, or a sense of humor; the relationship element is removed. Young people are no longer learning about themselves or each other through adolescent relationships, they are treating one another as inanimate objects with no feeling or intrinsic value.

Young women are having sex to show that they are desirable and the presence of a child in some schools is a badge of honor. The child is proof that the young woman is desirable and therefore popular. In Lorain (Ohio) city schools, conversation of the 5^th grade girls exemplifies this misguided value system. Female students frequently argue over who has had sex first. The winning argument in a particular case, “Well it don’t matter, I’ll still be the first one to have sex before I get my period.” This declaration clearly exemplifies a disconnect between the value of attention and self worth. Female students (9 to 10 years old) see no difference between positive attention and negative attention. Seeking only the ends they do not consider the means. This group does not realize, nor do they have access to positive examples of adult love and affection. Starved for affection they see sex as an opportunity to prove their worth, rather than seeing it as an expression of love to be shared with someone they truly care about. Boys are not even mentioned, which shows that there is no tie between sex and a person. The act has become removed from both the self and the sharing of the physical body to demonstrate emotional love or even basic affection.

In children’s minds the act of sex has nothing to do with emotion, particular individuals, or even sexual satisfaction. Sex is a tool that is used to win a competition. The problem with this competition is that no one wins. There is no sharing between the boy and girl beyond bodily fluids. There is no mention of protected sex which further increases the likelihood of early pregnancy or contraction of sexually transmitted diseases. There is also no discussion of wants and needs. Sex has been reduced to a flat example of experience rather than a desire to learn more about another person or one’s self. This in turn practically guarantees that the experience will be unpleasant at best, which takes away from the enjoyment of the act but also the opportunity to attach greater value to the event.

By suggesting that abstinence is the only answer educators and parents are loosing a valuable opportunity for open conversation with children. We know children naturally test their limits, by being the only silent voice we are not giving them the opportunity to make educated decisions. We are taking away their access to information, which they have proven repeatedly that they will seek out. Sex is glorified in today’s society, however sex as an exhibition of titillating primarily male focused stereotypes. The deeper meaning behind the act is distinctly separated from the expression of sexiness, provocative language or dress, and the illusion of seduction. Replicating this popular image has taken center stage, whereas a fulfilling sexual experience becomes secondary to looking the part. With schools only providing an abstract concept of “good” or “right” behavior, we are denying the reality in which our children grow up.

Young girls glorifying sex are not the ideal role models for our children. This teaches female children that their value is only in their physical appearance, provocative dress, or ability to produce children. It teaches male children to objectify women and only value what can be gained from them physically. As voters it is our responsibility to provide the greatest and most balanced education for our children. We cannot ask our children to stay in school, pursue competitive careers, or make a difference in their communities if they are busy raising their own children due to our negligence.

Legislation is needed to revise the outdated, paternalistic, and religious right interpretation of health education in our public schools. By not informing our children of how pregnancy occurs, what the consequences of their actions may be, or what they can do to take precautions; we are asking them to find their own answers. A quarter of teens aged 15 to 17 have not discussed sex with a parent or guardian[5]. Every day our children’s minds are saturated with advertisements and subliminal messaging that tells them that it is expected and acceptable to attach interpretations of self worth to physical appearance, that the expression of sexual images is more important that the sharing of thoughts, friendship, or ideas, and that sex is an activity in which anyone can partake. The inverse information is not advertised with the same intensity. Data revealing that one in four sexually active teenagers will contract an STD[6]. We do children in this country a great disservice by not providing them with access to open conversation and the availability of healthful protection for those that choose to become sexually active. Though they will ride in cars with or without parental supervision, we encourage them to buckle up. We need to offer the same guidance to children and provide safe sex education in our public schools.

 

For further information:

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8470845/

http://www.slate.com/id/2140985/

http://www.religionandsocialpolicy.org/news/article.cfm?id=6632

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[1] http://www.religionandsocialpolicy.org/news/article.cfm?id=6632

[2] http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/3201400.pdf; http://www.unicef-irc.org/publications/pdf/repcard3e.pdf

[3] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abstinence-only_sex_education

[4] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abstinence-only_sex_education

[5] http://www.kff.org/womenshealth/upload/3040-03.pdf

[6] http://www.kff.org/womenshealth/upload/3040-03.pdf

Nonconformist Recommendation August 19, 2008

I hate straight lines in landscapes. The “right” angles become ever patterned grids that allow no scope for the imagination or creativity. It used to be a comfort knowing how to get there only turning left or right, now it just seems boring and redundant. I want a challenge, an interesting view, strange corners and alleys I’ve never seen before. Life is not the organized graph paper American cities and suburban sprawl try to make it.  I long for the waving stone fences of Ireland, the irreverent mish mosh of streets in Rome, French wine country where vines revolt against their ordered lines fighting for sun much like the political protest and militant joie-de-vivre of the French people. Order and organization have their time and place; it is not on the landscape or in our neighborhoods. Gardens should be unwieldy. Children should run wild like vines. Directions should not just be rights and lefts; there need to be turnarounds, twists, and the inability to get there from here. Like our lives, we should be able to mind the gap but still forge our own way.

 

The image of conformity and uniforms as utopian must be destroyed. The middle class lacks creativity. With faux snobbery and silly pride so many Americans let their imaginations die. Striving to fit in, individuality is sacrificed on the altar of groupthink and assimilation. We must branch out or we will die. We cannot all be the same person or some version of a stereotypical individual. The direct lines of the Third Reich were destroyed by the allies’ ability to adapt, to devise new methods, to creatively attack from another direction. As Americans we must use this same ingenuity to change our country’s maps to reflect rolling plains, fierce mountains, and roaring rivers. Let us not fall victim to being agreeable and likewise. Instead let’s fight not only on paper but in our daily lives, let us be ourselves and proud of the differences that make our world interesting.